Risk

According to Oxford Dictionary, risk is ,
1 a situation involving exposure to danger.
2 the possibility that something unpleasant will happen.
3 a person or thing causing a risk or regarded in relation to risk.

Risk taking is free. And whatever we do, routines or instances, have risks of its own. Just look at the list below,

• To laugh is to risk appearing the fool
• To weep is to risk appearing sentimental
• To reach out for another is to risk involvement
• To expose feelings is to risk exposing true self
• To place your ideas, your dreams before the crowd is to risk their loss
• To love is to risk not being loved in return
• To live is to risk dying
• To hope is to risk despair
• To try is to risk failure

But risk must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, and is nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live. Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave, he has forfeited freedom.

I read one old chinese saying "he who is afraid to roll the dice will never get a six".

How does this apply to love? This is where it'll get messy. Either you want to go for the best lady in town that fullfill your emotional and physical wants and needs with suitors queing to pinang her but risking rejection for you aren't the best guy in town, OR, you just settle for an ordinary lady and making the most out of it.

But no danger in going for the best right? So what if something upleasant will happen? Just chin up and pick up yourself for the next adventure! Sound easy but it may turn harder and harder to pick up the pieces after your battle-hardened heart is full of "scars".

Hmmm...I've mentioned about this before, have I? Don't let my ramblings spoil your weekend mood. Let me pick up the pieces of me...

One on One, Shine on Shine

One on One, Shine on Shine

Good reading. Some of you readers could be forgiven thinking this blog full of rantings, tantrums of a hot-blooded woman after reading this one. But...you'll enjoy it. I know I do. And I know I enjoy knowing this buddy too.

We may not spend hours together sipping coffees and sharing secrets and stories at Starbucks like we used to but you're always dear to me.

Keep on writing Shine.

Love Is A Paradox...

I've known M for years. This is the guy who has the sweetest of heart to manjakan his loved one. He started his love life late though as he told me he wanted to concentrate on his study and to get good grades being a filial son as he is. The problem of being a nice guy is...You'll end up hurting yourself badly, your heart and feeling. I ended up listening to him telling me of his ex-es.


X1, is chinese, part-time model, part-time saleswoman, full-time mahjoong player. "full-time Mahjoong player??", I asked. "Yup. Daily and every weekend without fail", he replied. "And me banker at times, the one who provides her the money to gamble", he continued". "Oh ya, at least she taught me conversational Cantonese", he added with a grin on his face. You are fair and looked like Chinese, so it's good for you! the voices in my head screamed to him hahahhah. There are times that he simply drives to her house in wee hours cause she isn't feeling well...A good 40km for a one way trip. And he lost his virginity to this lady. I was laughing my lungs out when he told me that. It's destined to fail...Because of the gambling habit actually hehehhe.

X2, a corporate lady of mixed-parentage background. I said "cool. she must be not short of suitors". Everything seems perfect. It's all fireworks. She loves Ocean Deep, He dances to Suddenly. She longs for bakeries, He eats buns almost everyday. Went to KLCC just wanna have a glimpse of her. But...It's destined to fail too. "There were too many secrets. I couldn't call at this time, that time. I couldnt visit her home when she falls ill", he said regretfully then continue, "It lasted for a while, for love, lust...". He didn't tell me what are the secrets though I could have guessed that she's married! No brainer. Recipe for a disaster - like another very good friend, S, told me.

X3, a system engineer. NO NO NO...not the kinda dork you see inside a cubicle with glasses that a sight to be hold. This one he said, a trendy one. And yeah talking about trendy, "she indulges in shopping therapy every time she feels down". No offence but, which woman doesn't? One thing though, he didn't "touch" this one. His reason - he didn't feel like he loves her deep enough.

One thing he admitted, along the way, when he's single, he wasn't the best man around, let alone being a good Muslim. He's a walking chimney (chain smoker), he drank like a fish, and he changed sleeping partner week-in week-out (He duly explained he was bragging more than anything else to explain the frequency of his non committal nature). "I was single for godsake", he screamed. I said, "Thank God you changed". "Yeah, thank God. I was too far astray from the right path". Philosophically he questioned me, "Should you wear your heart on your sleeve and give you all or should you be cold and be protective of your heart?". I was dumbfounded. I had no answer for that. It left my heart tickled hard.

Finally, after all the mind-bashing of "horrific" tales on love, I asked him, "Are you seeing anybody now?". He gleefully answered with a shrug, "I don't know. Probably. Love is complicated."

It made me thinking. You can give you all in a relationship but that's when you're most vulnerable. Life is traveled but once, which makes it all the more necessary that we have little regret over the path/s we take in this journey of life. And it was then that I realized this, that some of us, albeit our heartaches and vulnerabilities, are just the way we are, the incorrigible emotional fools, because that's the life some of us get on best with.